udar55 Abraxas (Jesse "The Body" Ventura) is a 10,000 year old Finder, which is sort of like an intergalactic cop. He is sent to Earth to find and capture his former partner Secundus (Sven-Ole Thorsen). But this baddie is clever in that he quickly impregnates out-on-a-date-in-the-woods Sonia (Marjorie Bransfield) and she gives birth to an intelligent star child within minutes (worst...date...ever!). Abraxas captures his man, but refuses the order to kill the woman and child. Five years later, Secundus escapes from his prison and heads back to Earth to reclaim the Anti-matter equation he has hidden in his son's head (and hopefully make some child support payments). This Canadian gem actually played theatrically in some places (a certain Mobian paid to see it, but he asked to remain anonymous for safety reasons). Ventura and Thorsen were both in THE RUNNING MAN (1987), but don't expect anything on the level of that classic here. Director-writer Damian Lee mostly has the guys running around the forest to a completely inappropriate saxophone score. Worth seeing for a few laughs though and there is one 80s big star cameo that I won't spoil here.

Arlis Fuson A bad alien man comes to Earth and impregnates a woman and 6 years later he returns to get the kid who will continue his legacy. A good bounty hunter is sent back to Earth to kill this bad guy alien and he ends up falling for the girl...or something like that, as if I was trying to follow.Horrible movie that tries so hard to be like Terminator. Putting Jesse Ventura as a hero was a joke and this bad guy, Sercundus, tries to talk just like Arnold Schwarzeneggar. It was such a stupid sci-fi action movie and tried to add comedy but it was hard to set through.Direction was awful and the movie was so dark I couldn't even see what was happening most times. With such silly dialog and craziness all through it. Acting wasn't horrible but it sure wasn't great and it was nice seeing James Belushi doing the same role he did when he played on the movie Principal, and I loved his stupid lines here, I think his wife was in the movie. This movie might have had the worst music I have ever heard. Badly produced piece of garbage.It's a rip off, it tries using bad wrestling stars as a sells pitch and its just a waste of time...avoid if you can. Its not even bad enough to be considered funny, it's just bad, I considered giving it a 2, but nope 1/10 stars for me.

RTheManF89 And that's no joke! I ordered this last week, very anxious to see this in spite of it's bad rep. It finally came in today and I saw it! The best bad movie ever! Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe XD. Now, onto the movie. The movie centers around an intergalactic cop named obviously, Abraxas (Played by Jesse Ventura from Predator. He gets top billing in this as most of the movies he's been in like Predator or Running Man, he usually co-stars as a jerk who gets killed early in a movie) in pursuit of his ex-partner turned renegade, Secundus (Played hilariously by Sven-Ole Thorsen from The Running Man) on earth. We then stumble upon a young couple, the girl, Sonia Murray (Being played by Marjorie Bransfield) wants to keep her virginity, even though her boyfriend wants to get laid with her. Secundus then comes across the couple and tosses the boyfriend out of the car and drives off with Sonia. It is unknown what happens to the boyfriend aftewards. Secundus then asks Sonia if she's fertile and then rapes her by placing his hand on her tummy (WTF!?!) A few minutes later, she gives birth, but how did she do it without anyone to help her? Did she gag it out of her mouth or something? Later, she is seen at her house with her parents, who kick her out of the house because she doesn't know who the father is. Flash forward to Abraxas' home planet. Dar and Hite (Abraxas' dispatchers, would you believe it if I said that the guy playing Dar happened to be the film's director?) have discovered that Secundus has now broken out of his jail and escaped. So after some arguing, they send Abraxas to earth to pursue Secundus yet again. Secundus has returned to earth, 5 years after he impregnated Sonia, to search for Sonia's child, Tommy, who just so happens to be a Comator or something like that. He apparently, has the anti-life equation, which is capable of destroying a world. I don't think I need to go any further with the plot. I will say there are a lot of unintentionally funny moments, like Jesse saying "My Box has V.D." What's especially funny (unintentionally) is the movie's soundtrack. It's mostly soft jazz playing during the fight sequences, which is very unfitting for a fight sequence, yet laughable at the same time. There's also a somehow pointless scene of Secundus smashing some bottles of Pepsi (My favorite soda btw), which could explain why the movie happens to be sponsored by Coca-Cola, after he steals the Jeep from the camping family. Jim Belushi makes a quick and somehow pointless cameo as the Principle of Tommy's school. He did the cameo as a favor to Marjorie Bransfield, who plays Sonia. And towards the end, for no reason at all, while Secundus confronts Tommy in the warehouse, the song "Strong As I Am" (From "Manhunter") by The Prime Movers, is heard, and just like the Kenny G music playing during the fight sequences, it does not fit the scene at all. It works better in "Manhunter" than it does here.

newshound99 This is the only say I have; my friends mostly don't know of this film and neither does society. My origin is Minneapolis, Minnesota (where Jesse was elected governor) so we (I think I voted his way as well) elected Jesse as governor to shake up the establishment-- but that's not what this movie is about, no sir-- it is political in that Mr. Ventura's debut on screen has more to do with the future than with his pending fate with the political arena of which he's been criticized, praised, laughed at and extolled-- independent? maybe in 200 years !!! ahem, which state will allow the politics of ABRAXAS? And so the politics are there but so far removed from this century... Anyhow, this is not about politics. It's about living and love and aliens and saving grace and keeping our race alive, underneath its cheesy, clichéd and under-budgeted tactics. This film is quite conservative at its core; a few scenes make me want to speak out and say wow-- yes even a quick comment on this B-grade (actually would receive an perfunctory F -- meaning cursory? as the trap the best of the erudite often fall into -- in cinema repertoire as looked at by the academy and its ilk, but hey i'm not blue blood not ivy league not prone to programming the masses in a particular way so as to curb their affection and/or interest...) movie is relevant in that we are facing this type of transformation in society at large-- art imitates life, at least here-- and Jesse does a commendable job of saying what not too many of us can even express, let alone volunteer and get paid very little to exemplify. What planet is Jesse from? Hell, it's a coin-toss, the answer lies in the state of the union address, the statue of liberty and the eye of the hurricane... I am just grooving on this near-futile attempt to educate the ones who might not otherwise have the opportunity to learn-- like me. We are all deficient, we are all brilliant, we are all here to help bring about the everlasting luminescence on this planet before it's too late... Anyone care to: rewrite what was lost in translation and production? BEDLAM BLISS IS AS FRIENDLY AS IT'S GALANT & MUTABLE. God bless.