historyguy197
Ok so lets get right to it. This movie set a new low for any movie. The acting stunk. The special effects were high schoolish. I could write a book on how stupid the writing was. No one would act this in a real situation. But what has been seen can not be unseen. Unfortunately. The only good thing about the movie were the bikin shots which weren't all that great.
Leofwine_draca
5 HEADED SHARK ATTACK is the third in The Asylum's series about multi-headed sharks wreaking havoc on unsuspecting coast dwellers; this follows on from the two headed and three-headed variants (although a four-headed shark was bizarrely missed out). The film very much copies the look and feel of PIRANHA 3D throughout, chock-full of bikini-clad bimbos and dumb jocks having fun before they get chomped on by the mutant menace. Being an Asylum film, the CGI effects are cheesy beyond belief and the whole film lacks in realism. The acting ranges from the godawfully wooden to the just-about-managing, while the plot drags together all the usual genre tropes and cliches, from the fame-hungry human villain to the escalating attacks. Only B-movie lovers will enjoy this one.
stevepat99
We start with a cover graphic that can not count to five. It shows five fierce shark heads where, in this film there are only for on the front of the fish. I say 'suicide by shark' for good reason. Of course the shark heads must be 'fed' by unlucky actors but how about just a tad of creativity! We know it is suicide by shark to stand at the very tip of the boat, leaning toward the water, look for the shark while at the same time you might as well wear an 'eat me' sign. Or tip toe along the edge of a small craft, hardly able to keep your balance so that falling into the water is certain. The project head, Thaddeus, wants to catch the shark. He takes his mostly eye-candy crew and, so far as I could tell, not a shred of equipment he would need to capture the shark if it swam to the boat and said 'take me.' Red was the shark hunter type character from Jaws. Sadly he was given the silliest lines in the film. Does anyone see the shark, know where it is? And, my favorite, he's still alive... bullets won't kill him..... this after he handed out guns and has his crew shooting. Why, if bullets are useless? Worst is the use of hand guns to kill any large monster. Red gives a girl a hand gun while others get rifles. The two cope on the police boat can have any weapon they wish. What do they choose against the beast....yup...little bitty pistols. There is nothing sillier then using and shooting little pistols at any large, thick skinned beast. Red was, of course right, bullets can not kill the beast. Boats are under attack for ten minutes before the cop calls for help. Someone said there were five writers. If true then they needed 8 or 10 to easily fix the above, unnecessary fails. On the plus side there were fun moments, especially the opening shark attack where all four 'major' heads decide its meal time!
duii
By the numbers multi-head creature feature. Movie poster is not accurate. Shark has four heads in front; one on it's hind quarters. The rear head never eats anything. All five heads are angry though. Shark appears bullet proof. Insatiable appetite for twenty somethings and, ironically, a helicopter.