Scott LeBrun Five travelling carny workers - Charly (Sheri Moon Zombie), Panda (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), Venus (Meg Foster), Levon (Kevin Jackson), and Roscoe (Jeff Daniel Phillips) - are abducted by a sick bunch of freaks and made to play a sadistic game of survival. The proceedings are run by macabre Masters of Ceremony - Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell), Sister Serpent (Jane Carr), and Sister Dragon (Judy Geeson) - and the mean s.o.b.s who torture, taunt, and kill them have names like "Sick-Head" (Pancho Moler), "Death-Head" (Torsten Voges), and "Psycho-Head" (Lew Temple). The absolute worst of the bunch is a monster named "Doom-Head" (Richard Brake), who revels in his job.Rob Zombies' crowd-funded movie was a return to the sort of blood-soaked depravity with which he made his name, after too much disappointment was expressed over "The Lords of Salem", his attempt to step outside his usual wheelhouse. Once again, he shows that his way with dialogue tends to be hit-and-miss; sometimes he comes up with something quotable, but most of the time it's just insipid. The opening scenes that establish our protagonists are rough going, and don't exactly endear the characters to this viewer. Therefore, it's hard to care much about what happens to most of them. Zombies' inane script, which lacks imagination and wit, makes a waste of some good atmosphere, production design, and cinematography.All of that said, the casts in his films are usually pretty eclectic. Tracey Walter, Daniel Roebuck, and Elizabeth Daily also put in appearances. The standouts include old pro Foster, who gets to be pretty badass, and character actor Brake, who's definitely relishing this moment in the spotlight. His is a villain who obviously enjoys what he does.One more good thing about Zombies' efforts are the soundtracks, and this one is no exception. The music that plays over the closing credits is especially groovy.Fans of hardcore horror and Zombies' loyal fan base are certain to be amused, but this will likely be a struggle to get through for most folks. Brake and Foster raised the rating a bit for this viewer.Six out of 10.

jadavix "31" is the kind of movie that makes you wonder what went wrong. It seems unlikely the filmmakers were happy with the final product. It's confusing, hard to follow, and the pacing is all messed up. It feels like it's probably missing scenes that would have explained key details, or given us time to catch up and actually care about what we're seeing.The plot is something to do with a group of people traveling in a camper van in the '70s when they get kidnapped by a murderous group of side show freaks and forced to play some kind of survival game.Apparently this group of people are carnival workers themselves, though I missed where that was explained. Aside from Sheri Moon Zombie none of the characters make any impression anyway. One of them looks so much like a young Sid Haig you wonder why the man himself wasn't cast.The movie has one great moment, and that's the very beginning. Richard Brake, a great discovery of Zombie's, breaks (no pun intended) the fourth wall and I had the uncanny sensation he really was talking to me. I can't remember that happening in a movie before.Apparently this movie was crowd-funded "twice". Perhaps that is a sign that something went wrong behind the scenes. Did they run out of money the first time?

kat3723 It was what I've come to expect from a Zombie film. I actually like the things that most people don't like about his movies. I like the old school actors. I like that he writes movies resembling 70's B movies and that they have that grind house feel to them. It's no secret that he loves horror movies and he incorporates that love of the genre, while pleasing his target audience who love them as well. Everyone seemed to like Doomhead and I did as well. However, Sickhead was my favorite. Understanding the language, I loved his dialogue and his taunting, basically being sort of a bad a** regardless of size (just to be clear, not his wardrobe, just dialogue). SMZ was not annoying and doing some good work without over doing it. If I had to chose, this would be some of her better work since Halloween (and not 2)! I would have preferred more blood and gore, which I've come to expect from RZ, and for that, I knocked down my score just a tad. I heard there were several cuts made for rating purposes and I would rather enjoy seeing the movie again without the cuts. Overall, I'm glad I didn't listen to the reviews and was able to see it for myself. I wasn't disappointed. It's not The Devils Rejects, but it was still a great movie.

Stephen Abell If it hadn't been for The House Of A 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, and The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto then I would not have watched this movie, especially after what Rob Zombie did to the Halloween movies. Unfortunately, this is not as good as his earlier works.This is just another load of people who are captured, tortured, and killed for pleasure. What Zombie adds to the story is a triumvirate of puppet masters - Father Murder (Malcolm McDowell), Sister Serpent (Jane Carr), and Sister Dragon (Judy Geeson) - who run The Murderworld where they run a torturous gauntlet of games. The triumvirate gives their prisoners twelve hours to survive the trials they have arranged for them. Each trial is to survive the psychopaths they send in dressed as clowns.However, most of this doesn't work. My heart started to sink when the group of carnies are talking about the rides and attractions that they run, though their RV isn't towing anything and there's no lorry travelling with them. Then you learn they're travelling with a fair, yet again there are no other vehicles. It's these little things which annoy, and there are quite a few throughout the film. For such an unoriginal story ironing out ALL the kinks would have made it stronger.As for the direction, it's pretty standard stuff though Zombie does try to add a little art to the affair by working in vivid colours. This isn't fully utilised due to the average camera work. There's also an alarming lack of suspense and tension, which a film of this type really requires. That said there are a couple of nice scenes with Richard Brake, who plays Doom-Head, where the close ups are so sharp and crisp. This brilliantly captures his Brake's magnificent rendition of his psychopath character. To be honest, it's Brake that steals this film. This actor should be used more often, he has some serious skills. As for the rest of the cast, they are okay, none of them particularly stands out. I would've liked more details in both the story and characterisations of the triumvirate as this was a missed opportunity to add a spooky and eerie element. Also the other clowns - heads - aren't anywhere nearly as disturbing or sinister as Brake's Doom-Head. The brothers Schizo and Psych-Head, played by David Ury and Lew Temple, are your routine slashers, complete with chainsaws. Though it's Sick-Head which lets the film down. This is not due to Pancho Moler playing the part, on the contrary, his acting is pretty solid. It's down to Zombie dressing him as a Hitleresque character - complete with swastikas and moustache. I'm sorry but I think if anybody was confronted by him they would probably die laughing.Then there's the name of the movie... 31. This actually references Halloween and is another missed chance to tie the games into Samhain or another "Dark" holiday, which would have made the story stronger.This is an average film which has a few small drawbacks and a couple of benefits that levels the film to average, once again. If you're a Rob Zombie fan then you may like this. If it's cold and wet outside you could turn off the lights and settle back with this slasher flick, it's worth at least one viewing.